As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
cat food counts as protein by the way
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
