you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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