i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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