I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
