You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
