After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
3 2 1 whiskey
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
