I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
