You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
