Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
