her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
