you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
