I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
