Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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