Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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