once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
