Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
