absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
