you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
