try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
