You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
