did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
it glows. i had to have it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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