yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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