I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Soap is not a condiment
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
where does the pee come out of this thing
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
