I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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