happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
