He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think a kid would responsible me up
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
