Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
