I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
