I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
