wrigley field is MILF paradise
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
