Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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