I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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