If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
