Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
