we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Houston, we have a blender
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
