will power is for people who don't want to get laid
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
