summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
