no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
