I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
