forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
