yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
