I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I still have a little drunk in my system
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
