nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
