God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
