she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
