I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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