omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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