There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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