I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize