Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
