in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
