Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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